A prolific and housebroken college junior

You know what I like? Big, boldface, capitalized words that denote the theme of the next couple paragraphs. Monolithic motherfuckers that really let you know what you're reading about.

MUSIC

The word on the street is that Interpol has a new album coming out next month. Now, you'd figure that I'd be all over that shit like Pete Doherty at an all-you-can-eat heroin buffet. The truth is that I'm not exactly excited as much as I am anxious and a little worried. Let me walk you through it.

Interpol is like my cute, well dressed and New York-y baby. I was honestly into them before anyone else back during my freshman year of high school. Hell, I'm listening to them right now. I've grown through the most crucial years of my life jamming to their catalogue, including bootlegs of concerts and shitty-quality B-sides. Turn On The Bright Lights was like the soundtrack to my life sophomore year. I made it a downright ritual to open my Friday and Saturday evenings with "Untitled" before I actually got to any parties. It's such a noir soundtrack to those weekends that run late, with overtones of love lost and the darker, more brooding side of music that I love so much.

Then Antics came out my senior year. I was probably way too excited for that album because, though I listened to it just as much as TOTBL, it didn't quite connect as well to my life at the time. I was experiencing the heartaches of my first big breakup and what I really needed (or maybe not needed, but wanted) was a darker TOTBL. Some real sulk-in-the-corner shit. Instead I was greeted with something a lot more upbeat, with Paul forgoing the darkness of baritone vocals for something else. I liked it but... meh. I guess I was slightly disappointed-- not by the music but by the way the music should have connected to me. Though on the plus side, it did cheer me up a lot better than listening to "Dust in the Wind" on repeat.

And here comes their newest album. I hear the first single is already flying around the P2P world, but I'm just not motivated to give it a listen. I feel like I honestly do respect this band more than a casual download. I'm actually going to wait until the release date, buy the CD, and listen to it in its intirety like the indie fuck I am. I just hope that Interpol dishes me something that I can connect with this time around.

Speaking of sophomore and junior albums...

• I haven't really connected with Boxer as well as I did Sad Songs for Dirty Lovers and Alligator. I've also started masturbating to the thought of seeing the National at ACL this year.
  
• I can't get into A Weekend in the City, either, but I earhumped the dreadlocks off of Keke and Bloc Party back when Silent Alarm came out.
• Spoon has a new album coming out, too, but for some reason I genuinely love their entire catalog. I'm not too worried about their new business.
• Has it really been a year since Black Holes and Revelations came out? Matt Bellamy, you sure know how to make catchy music that never gets old.
• Modest Mouse's newest album? Like every other Modest Mouse album-- two or three catchy singles and a bunch of other songs to space out to while you're driving. Be careful, Isaac, or your side project might actually become better than your supposed claim to fame. Just ask Ben Gibbard what that's like. Death Who For What? You mean that guy from the Postal Service?

Now let's talk about

THE ESPLANADE

My AC now works. Didn't cost me anything to get it fixed, either. I called the maintenance hotline, placed a work order over the phone, and they did their magic while I was at Kroger. So now I have AC and more on-sale canned chili than my poor toilet could ever handle.

Here's a funny story. Really funny. So I went to Time Warner to pick up my cable modem nonsense exactly a week ago. In the package was the modem, cords, Laffy Taffy, and everything but the technician they TOLD me that I'd need over the phone that I'd need. So I ask the nice secretary at the desk if I need to go ahead and schedule an appointment. I've never had Time Warner service, and the leasing office told me that in order to get cable service I'd need a technician to flip a few switches in the Cable TV closet down the hall. And she's all like "No, don't worry about it. Those things are amazing! Plug them right into your cable TV outlet and they work!" Right. So I ask her if she's sure I don't need an appointment with a technician, and she assures me that the magic Internet leprechauns will find my modem and give me high-speed porn as soon as I plug the damn thing in. Okay.

So I get back to my place and plug the modem in and-- would you guess-- the "cable" light on the modem is blinking in such a way that all the blood vessels in my eye burst open. I blindly dial up Time Warner tech support to hear the guy on the end of the line, Kenny, tell me that I do need an appointment and that they actually did schedule me one when I went in to get the modem. Strange? Yeah. But they won't be available until Friday. That's fine, I think to myself. I can go a few more days without the Internet.

Friday rolls around. The word from Kenny is that my technician will be rolling in between eight in the morning and noon. I wake up and make myself decent enough to answer the door, watching early morning talk shows to kill the time. The View is really lacking without Rosie, I notice to myself. Then I realize that it's 11:45 and no one has called or anything. So I call up Time Warner tech support again. This time another guy answers and tells me that Kenny actually CANCELED my appointment when I called last time, with a note that said the appointment wasn't necessary. Strange? Yeah.

So this guy, suddenly realizing that there's been a big mistake made, decides to bump someone's Monday appointment so that I can see a technician ASAP. I wade through the weekend without Google Reader or gossip blogs or Facebook or any of the things that make life worth living. And yesterday, I finally got the Internet set up. But you know what the technician said before he left?

"You know, they could have done all of this over the phone."