Domainz

Short version:
The site is now located at http://www.confusednation.com, just like it should be, and Kyle wasted like ten minutes writing an explanation that no one will read unless they're looking for jokes about themselves.

James Joyce Version:
Every year, around Christmastime, the domain name that I've hosted this blog on for eight big ones expires. And every year, I painfully decide that this chosen-on-a-whim domain needs to stick around, if for no other reason than shear posterity. After all, I have a lot of memories attached to this site. Or at the very least I have [8 years times 12 months/year times $14/month] worth of cash invested in its existence.

I thought this year would be different. Really. I thought I had finally come to peace with the fact that no one really minds adding ".blogspot" to the URL when it can save me some pocket change in the long run. After all, most people who visit this site use feedreaders to aggregate the content. And so, I watched as my domain host started sending me renewal notices back in November, and finally I got an e-mail that simply said "Domain expired on confusednation.com."

I didn't even flinch.

But when I returned home for Christmas, my friend Roy offhandedly mentioned how weird it was to type in the old site address and get an error back. That was actually all it took for me to race home, re-register the domain, transfer it to another registrar, and configure Blogger to use it.

And so now it's back here on http://www.confusednation.com, at least until next Christmas. I've also been mulling over the possibility of renaming (gasp!) my blog. If you've got any good ideas, you should totally throw them this-a-way.

Also, be on the lookout for my brother's blog, which should exist somewhere soon. He's actually an English major, which means he can't say things like "alot" and "there coming over for dinner tonight," and he probably has smarter things to write about than I do.

I expect to lose 20 friends before noon tomorrow

Burger King has unveiled the most awesome incentive to un-Facebook those kids you met at a music festival three years ago that have been stalking you from afar ever since.

It's called the Whopper Sacrifice application, and it's going to make you carefully consider if your online life is worth a couple dozen free burgers. All the application requires is that you pick ten of your Facebook friends and dump them in return for one free Whopper. Though unlike the normal ritual of booting someone from your online life, it notifies the people you remove that they've been traded for consumer goods. I figured I would stay one step ahead of the app.

So here's to you, those about to be sacrificed. Those random friends of my exes. Those hometown friends of friends. Those kids who went to my high school but were in my brother's class and I don't really know you but I guess you like to see my pictures. Those kids from my grade school classes who haven't seen me since I wore my hair spiky. And yes, even those employment recruiters who I friended just to see if I could find a job.

You've all brought me so much. Application invites, mostly. Some of you may have read my blog once or twice, in which case you're actually cooler than 70% of my close friends. But all&all this hasn't been a fulfilling relationship. So, I'm leaving you for processed flash-cooked meat and vegetable blend on a chewy wad of bread ass.

And to the Kyle Barnhart from Ottowa who got really high one night and decided to friend me: Don't worry, dude, we're friends until the end.

[Unfriend 10 People on Facebook, Get a Free Whopper | A Hamburger Today]

Late-night sushi? No thanks.

Katharine Shilcutt (the bimbo who stole the Houston Press food blog job that I wanted but didn't apply for and I actually love her but I love calling people bimbos even more) reports today on Eating Our Words that Crave Sushi is one step closer to opening a late-night raw roll retailer in Midtown Houston. And she's predicting windfalls for this trendy tuna tavern, based on nothing but its location and originality.

Uh, what?

I feel like I understand the late-night food industry pretty well, having been a connoisseur since before I started drinking heavily. Going to Waffle House at 3am used to be one of the only entertaining things for a kid to do back in Panama City Beach. Me and my friends would sit back and swap stupid stories while ignorant drunk rednecks would bring in their scantly-clad escorts and get into fights about things like F-150s and mud.

Since moving to Houston, I've navigated the late-night high seas like a stoned stalwart pirate of munchies. Like all Rice students, I started my love affair with the freshman year staples: House of Pies and Taco Cabana. Since then I've conquered all the places that matter. You know, BB's, Bibas, Katz's, Tacos a Go-Go, and etc. There are plenty.

The one trait all these places have in common is that they serve piles of hot, delicious food that caters oh-so-well to the inebriated taste palate. The drunken taste palate, of course, is driven by the basal need to kill something, fry it, and dip it in jalapeno ranch dressing. Cajuns, Greeks, Mexicans, and Jews New York-style delis all know how to do this really, really well. The Japanese, on the other hand, wrap cold fish in cold rice and cold seaweed and douse it in black salt water.

Sorry, Crave. I really am. But considering the decor and the price tag, I just don't see sushi being more than a passing fad in the world of Houston late-night food. Drunks crave fat and stoners crave quantity (of anything edible). Sushi provides neither. Even if this Crave place is initially successful, I have a feeling that Houstonians will be back to their late-night staples of gyros and chimichangas before you can say "I'm not driving."

[Houston - Eating Our Words - Craving a Sneak Preview?]

A bloggin' paradigm shift to give you goosebumps

I did it, kids. I removed the "share on Facebook" link from my Firefox toolbar and replaced it with a "post to blog" link. And besides buying a po-boy at Antone's before I got to work this morning, playing with my blogging tools was the highlight of a very boring, normal Tuesday.

And then I ran into this blog.

blogger beware: the goosebumps blog
[c/o Brent's Facebook Wall]

It's a cynical, systematic review of every Goosebumps book from your childhood, ever. It's fun to realize how many trashy, un-scary novella you bought back in the day. The site is hilarious on its own merit, sure, but the real fun is in the nostalgia.

What is our generation's common bond? Mass media. And there is no bastion of mass media rooted deeper in our childhood memories than the Goosebumps series-- unless you're me and you were totally into survival books like Hatchet during late elementary school. I read everything I could get my hands on back in 1996, I think, but I only actually remember reading Time magazine and JenniCam.com (which explains a lot). And yes, even a few Goosebumps.

I liked the one with the kids who turned out to be robots.