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2009 print edition

Rice and Baylor, BFF?

Finally! Something local to distract me from my unsubstantiated opinions about Sarah Palin!

Since no one has given me an inside scoop on why, how, or what in the world is good or bad about a Baylor/Rice merger, my one well-founded argument about this whole issue actually has nothing to do with the speculative partnership itself:

David Leebron, President of Rice University, really needs to learn how to talk to a student body.

I can't think of the last time he broke news to Rice's paying population in a way that respected their input at all. We are constantly bombarded with new buildings, new colleges, new construction, and changes to campus procedure either midway through the negotiation phase or after the fact. The Pavilion? The coffee shop inside the Pavilion? A complete restructuring of campus finances? Sacking the SAC in favor of a super-strict campus tour? The list goes on. Last time I checked that's not a great way to make people like you, no matter the power you wield.

Rice's students are already weary of Leebron's image-centric improvements to the campus. Some changes have turned out to be been pretty awesome-- like, I don't know, that new recreation center will probably be an improvement over the last one. But after the campus finance fiasco came to a head a few weeks ago, it felt implicit that Leebron would have no choice but to start announcing his future projects before they are fully mature.

And then this story breaks about a potential merger of convenience between Rice and the Baylor College of Medicine. In the Chronicle, of all places.

You know what the difference between a serf and a citizen is, right? Well, the student body's lack of input into the decisions that affect their $40,000/yr sheepskin dimplomas makes them less like Americans and more like Fudal Europeans. Actually, not only the student body, but faculty and employees as well. They must feel about as distant as a body of respected, tenured employees can possibly feel from the day-to-day decisions that affect their paychecks. Neat.

Rice and Baylor have the potential to collaborate and do some really awesome things together, like cure cancer or make candy that turns you into a giant blueberry or whatever the two schools could possibly do with their pooled resources. But the merger also comes with a possible financial detriment to their existing schools of study, an even-more rapid expansion of the campus population, and basically changing what Rice means to the world.

That's not something you just announce to the Rice community after beginning serious deliberations.

Knowing Leebron, the merger will happen. It's not too late to switch to Bioengineering, right?

Must... not... talk... about... politics!

...too late.

I have a question for John McCain supporters, and it goes something like this: How can you still respect your candidate after he chose Sarah "You Betcha You're Fired, Walt" Palin to be his running mate?

Seriously. I'm soliciting the body of people who read my blog posts to give me an answer to this question because, for the life of me, I can't come up with any particular reason that seems compelling. At least, not compelling enough to make me vote red come November.

Ignore, if you will for a moment, every stupid thing that John McCain has ever done. Ignore the whole "bomb, bomb Iran" thing, the Keating Five scandal, his messy divorce with his first wife, the fact that he married a wealthy girl to jump-start his political career, and every gaffe he's ever, ever committed. Try to imagine John McCain as an affable war veteran with a Purple Heart, a commendation for his military service, and tons of hands-on experience in politics.

What we have is a well-spoken, 72-year-old American running for President of the United States with the experience and leadership needed to revitalize both the country and his own faltering Party. Maybe you don't agree with every single one of his opinions, but he's at least moderate enough to re-unite the country.

Okay. Let's take SuperMcCain and say he has to make one decision-- choosing a running mate. Luckily, as a Republican, he has an breadth of smart, affable, educated politicians to pick from. He could pluck from the body of other Republicans who wanted to run for POTUS: Mitt Romney comes to mind immediately. Mitt is charming, charismatic, and would certainly bolster McCain's chances of election given the looming economic crisis. He could pick Mike Huckabee, the good Doctor RON PAUL, or even Rudy Giuliani. While those guys all have their pitfalls, they also bring to the table some trademark characteristic that could pull our buddy McCain ahead in the polls. And they're mostly respectable picks.

But our good friend, Senator John McCain, the hypothetical perfect war vet with leaps and bounds more experience than his opposition, decides instead to pick SARAH FUCKING PALIN to be his vice presidential nominee. He picks a first-term governor from ALASKA. He honestly looks at a list of PROMINENT REPUBLICAN WOMEN and picks a random name from the top.

Would you really still support this guy, even if he was perfect in every way that appealed to you? Wouldn't you feel a bit, I don't know, betrayed? Wouldn't you feel like he was putting politics above country? Wouldn't you feel like that other guy, even though he has "D-IL" appended to his name in, was at least more genuine?

I don't get it. I really don't understand any motivators that would compel you toward voting McCain after a stunt like that. Then we load Palin down with her inarticulate speaking skills and her whole Troopergate scandal and her radical Republican views and, well, I think you get the point. She's so far divorced from what this country needs right now-- a uniting leader both domestically and abroad-- that you've got to wonder whether McCain is thinking more about the country or getting four years in as president before he croaks.

If McCain truly is the person he purports himself to be, he would have picked an equally affable running mate.

So please, someone, tell me what's motivating your McCain vote at this point. I'll accept "I'm afraid of Barack Obama" as an answer, because some people are honestly too thick and too consumed by the idea that Democrats are immoral and tax-crazy to be swayed by reason. Maybe you really hate socialized health care enough to put Palin in line for the Presidency. Maybe you're voting McCain with a guilty conscience. If you are then please let me know, because that'll help expand my understanding at least a little bit.

And I'll also accept "I follow party politics because that's what I've always done and I'll fight you tooth and nail until the bitter end," because that's exactly how Bush became our President, let alone got re-elected. That and John Kerry was a turd sandwich.