confused nation
gettin' famous
on the internets
since 2001
2009 print edition

I'm so full of meat

I loves me a cheese steak.

What are you compensating for, Rockefeller?

Back on the rag and ovulating

You know, I once got into a fight with my English teacher about why Pavement was the best band to ever grace Al Gore's Green Earth. This was senior year, mind you, and I should have known better. But Slanted and Enchanted just so happened to be the only CD in my car for the weeks prior and I had pretty well convinced myself that their distorted stylings were leaps and bounds ahead of Zeppelin or the Beatles.

And so there I was, in front of my little newspaper class, raving at my superior with such timeless quips as "Stephen Malkmus could throw more emotion into a single verse than Lou Reed could belch on an entire album," and "Wowee Zowee covered musical territory that hadn't been charted by any other artists of the past fifty years." After arguing point by point with me, Mr. Cobb gave up on my claim and said one of the most profound things I think I remember him saying...

"Kyle, you'll know you're grown up when you discern the difference between your favorite band now, your favorite band of all time, and the best band of all time."

How true is that?

At least I've got the first two picked out pretty well. Of the moment would have to be the National, of all time would have to be Talking Heads. But my own opinions aside, who was the best band of all time?

I feel like saying "The Beatles" or "Pink Floyd" is kind of a cop-out, like I'm just picking the bands that I see mentioned as "THE BEST" on TV. But my indie-fuck bands don't have nearly the discographies or the impact to be called the best. What band was the best compromise between originality and super-stardom?

I don't know, probably Heart or something.